怎樣改掉猶豫不決的毛病
1. Test them against your values.
So many times we have to make decisions without a framework and no way to judge between two choices. When faced with a tricky decision it’s often a good idea to line up your choices and ask “Which one of these most honours the things that mean the most to me?”
The decision that’s most in line with the things that mean the most to you – your core values – will be the best decision for you. That might not be the simplest or most practical, but because it fits with who you are and what’s most important to you it will always be the best decision for you.
1.用自己的價(jià)值觀來(lái)評(píng)定
很多次我們?cè)趦蓚�(gè)選擇之間徘徊，沒(méi)有一個(gè)固定的構(gòu)架或判斷的方法來(lái)拿定主意。當(dāng)我們面臨一個(gè)需要機(jī)警判斷的決定時(shí)，通常我們會(huì)有一個(gè)好主意那就是把所有的選擇按重要與否排成一條線，然后問(wèn)一下自己“這些選擇中哪一個(gè)讓我覺(jué)得最值？”你所做的決定是這條選擇鏈里對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)最重要的----你的核心價(jià)值觀------將會(huì)是你最好的選擇。這也許不是最簡(jiǎn)單的或者最現(xiàn)實(shí)的，但確實(shí)最適合你的。對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)最重要的就是最好的選擇。
2. Trust your gut.
When I was growing up I used to love rainy Sunday afternoons watching Columbo, especially the bit at the end where he’d sidle up to the Bad Guy, say “Just one more thing” and then proceed to blow apart the bad guys alibi. Just brilliant.
What Columbo had bundles of was a great trust in his intuition. In every episode, from the very moment he first meets the bad guy, he knows ‘whodunnit’ – and he always trusts that.
So look at what your intuition tells you is the ‘right’ decision for you. Forget about all the “What if’s” and the myriad, tiny details – what is your gut telling you? Listen to your intuition, it knows what it’s talking about.
2.相信自己的`直覺(jué)
在漸漸長(zhǎng)大的歲月中我喜歡在下著雨的星期天的下午觀看《神探哥倫布》，特別是放到最后他悄悄的走近壞人然后抓住他們說(shuō)“還有一件事情” 然后把犯罪者無(wú)力的辯解駁得體無(wú)完膚并道出他們的罪狀。他看起來(lái)是那樣充滿智慧。他總是對(duì)他的直覺(jué)深信不疑。在每一個(gè)案子中，最初見(jiàn)到犯罪者時(shí)直覺(jué)告訴他 “就是這個(gè)人”-----而他總是深信不疑。
那么看一下你的直覺(jué)告訴你哪個(gè)選擇是“正確”的吧。忘掉那些“如果這樣將會(huì)怎樣”和無(wú)數(shù)的微小的細(xì)節(jié)-----你最本質(zhì)的內(nèi)心告訴你什么了？相信你的直覺(jué)，他跟你一樣了解整件事情。
3. It just doesn’t matter.
My decision between breakfast cereals wasn’t a biggie. Whichever one I chose, there were never going to be any huge consequences and the ripples from that decision wouldn’t have been felt much further than the end of my spoon. Sometimes it just doesn’t matter which way you go.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in second guessing yourself, going round in circles and over-complicating things, when – if you get right down to it – it just doesn’t matter. Going round in circles is only going to make you dizzy, so stop it. Ask yourself this question – if your future happiness wasn’t dependent on your decision (and it isn’t, by the way), which way would you go?
3.不要過(guò)于糾結(jié)
我關(guān)于早餐吃什么谷類的決定沒(méi)什么大不了的，無(wú)論我選擇吃哪一種，都不會(huì)產(chǎn)生重大的影響，而且伴隨這種決定而來(lái)的任何感覺(jué)在我最后一勺吃完前早已煙消云散。有時(shí)候，選哪一種都沒(méi)有關(guān)系。
人們很容易陷入為自己的第二念而動(dòng)搖中，不斷的循環(huán)而重復(fù)他們的思考，讓事情復(fù)雜化，特別是當(dāng)----你必須要做的時(shí)候----沒(méi)有關(guān)系放手做吧。陷入循環(huán)的思考只會(huì)讓你頭暈，所以不如立刻停止。問(wèn)你自己一個(gè)問(wèn)題-----如果你的幸福以前不會(huì)（現(xiàn)在或者將來(lái)也不會(huì)）取決于這個(gè)決定，你會(huì)如何選擇？
4. Have enough information.
Go and get the facts before you make a complex decision. By all means weigh up the pro’s and con’s so that you can get an understanding of what’s behind a choice. But be careful – there’s a huge difference between knowing enough to make a choice, and knowing everything to make a choice.
When you feel yourself pursuing every fact or every piece of information before you make a decision, stop yourself. Ask “What do I really need to know to make this decision?” and focus your efforts on getting the best information relatively quickly, rather than pursuing all of the information you could get your hands on given a longer period of time.
4.盡可能多地搜集信息
在你需要做一個(gè)復(fù)雜的決定前先去搜集足夠的數(shù)據(jù)。務(wù)必在所有支持和反對(duì)的兩面加以權(quán)衡，使你能清晰地了解選擇背后的分量。但是請(qǐng)小心，對(duì)某事足夠了解而做出決定和對(duì)某事完全了解而做出決定，兩者具有很大的不同。
當(dāng)你感覺(jué)你在試圖尋找每一點(diǎn)事實(shí)或逐一排查信息來(lái)作出你的選擇時(shí)，請(qǐng)暫停。問(wèn)一下自己“要作出這個(gè)選擇我真正需要知道的是什么？”相對(duì)于逐一地搜尋所有的信息，迅速且集中地找一些相對(duì)而言比較重要的數(shù)據(jù)將會(huì)省下很多時(shí)間。
5. Respect your doubts.
We all naturally shy away from change, and we’ve developed a whole bunch of tricks that make it easy for us to avoid making decisions and stay exactly where we are. That part of you is often called the “Gremlin”, and it’s the part of you that would rather avoid making decisions altogether rather than run the risk of making a bad one or screwing up.
Your Gremlin is not the same thing as having doubts, which are valid concerns about a possible course of action, or reasonable concerns about what might be in store. Your doubts can help you prepare for change and get ready for what could happen.
Your Gremlin is adept at feeding on your doubts and using them to get you to stay put, so knowing the difference between your Gremlin and your valid doubts helps you clarify what’s real and what’s imagined, what’s relevant and what’s irrelevant.
5.尊重自己的懷疑
當(dāng)面對(duì)改變的時(shí)候我們都會(huì)本能的逃避，我們會(huì)找一堆謊話來(lái)欺騙自己做出決定，繼續(xù)留在原地不動(dòng)。那部分自己經(jīng)常被稱作“膽小鬼”，他會(huì)讓我們寧可不做決定也不要冒風(fēng)險(xiǎn)去做一個(gè)壞的的，糟糕的選擇。這個(gè)膽小鬼跟疑慮不一樣，疑慮是對(duì)行動(dòng)中可能發(fā)生的事情或者潛藏事物的合理?yè)?dān)心。疑慮可以幫助你為潛在的變化做好準(zhǔn)備。
你頭腦中的膽小鬼擅長(zhǎng)以疑慮為食讓你保持原地停滯不前，所以分清楚膽小鬼和合理的疑慮的不同將幫助你區(qū)分事實(shí)與幻象，相關(guān)的和不相干的因素。
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