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人在職場，怎樣應對職場暴力
In elementary school, the class bully left you with empty pockets. In the corporate world, the bully can cause even more damage -- ranging from severe emotional distress and sluggish work to stalled career progress. What's worse: Despite hoards of office initiatives and formal legislation, bullying is still creeping its way into the workplace.
在小學，“小霸王”讓你身無分文。在公司，“霸王”們會引起更大的危害——從嚴重壓抑、效率低下到事業停滯。而更糟糕的是，成堆的辦公室條例和法規都無法阻止欺負行為在職場的蔓生。
Nancy Shenker, founder and principal of theONswitch, a marketing company specializing in start-ups, said she was once the victim of a bullying boss who loved to publicly berate her.
theONswitch公司專門為起步公司提供市場營銷，該公司創辦人、主席Nancy Shenker說她也曾是職場暴力的受害者，過去的老板總喜歡公然嚴厲指責她。
"I finally scheduled a private meeting with him and told him quite simply that his behavior was affecting my work performance, that I felt demoralized and embarrassed," she said. "I went so far as to tell him that if I really was so incompetent, we should call human resources into the meeting to work out a severance package or start writing me up," she said.
她說：“我和他私聊了一次，很簡單地告訴他，他的行為影響了我的工作表現，我感到挫敗和困窘。我甚至說，如果我真那么無能，那我們應該讓人力資源參與我們的討論，做個離職計劃或給我記一過。”
Her boss admitted he had no intention of firing her, and their relationship improved. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute's Web site, bullying is more prevalent in today's workplaces than sexual harassment and racial discrimination. Approximately one-in-six US workers have directly experienced destructive bullying in the last year.
她的老板承認他無意解雇她，兩人關系得到改善。”職場暴力研究組織“網站說，欺負行為在當今的職場要比性騷擾和種族歧視更為普遍。近六分之一的美國勞動者去年直接經歷了具有破壞性的欺負行為。
Women are most often on the receiving end of the workplace abuse, according to the Workplace Bullying Institute. Although 58 percent of bullies are women, they make up 80 percent of targets. "Targethood hinges on two characteristics: a desire to cooperate and a nonconfrontive interpersonal style," the organization's Web site states.
該組織說，女性最容易遭受職場虐待。58%的欺負者是女性，而被欺負的女性卻占到了80%。該組織網站稱，這兩種人易受攻擊：渴望配合的人和不得罪人的老好人。
Standing up to the bully may not be as difficult as it seems, said Kerry Patterson, co-author of the bestselling books "Crucial Conversations" and "Crucial Confrontations." "If you know what to say and how to say it, you can speak up and keep the risk of retaliation to a minimum," he said.
《至關重要的對話》及《至關重要的對峙》兩本書的作者說，對欺負者說“不”也許并沒有看上去那么困難。他說：”如果你知道說什么、如何說，你就能為自己討回公道，并將被報復的風險降至最低“。
Patterson offered these tips to keep the office bully at bay:
Patterson 提供了讓人們遠離欺負者的建議：
1. Don't be rude in return. 不要以“粗”相對
Replying with a snide remark means stooping to the bully's level, and the problem could escalate. 以卑鄙的話回答意味著把自己降低到惡棍的水準，可能導致問題激化。
2. Assume the best. 做最好的假設
Instead of assuming your co-worker is intentionally being rude or inconsiderate, assume he is unaware of how his actions are affecting you. For example, when someone cuts in line in front of you at a movie theater, say something like: "I'm sorry, were you aware that we've been standing here in line?" Presuming innocence avoids an accusation and gets the conversation started off right.
不要假設你的同事故意表現粗魯或不顧別人，而要假設他并不知道他的行為對你有何影響。例如，當有人在電影院插隊，可以說：“抱歉，你意識到我們在排隊嗎？” 假設對方無辜，可以避免指責并容易展開對話。
3. Separate intentions from outcome. 分清結果和意圖
If your co-worker publicly calls you something offensive, before you respond in-kind, ask yourself: "Why would a decent, rational human being say something like that?" Then, approach your co-worker and say, "I'm sure you didn't intend this, but when you call me ‘honey' it makes me uncomfortable."
如果你的同事公然用侵犯的語言稱呼你，在你以同樣方式做出回應前，問自己”為什么一個體面、有理智的人會說出那樣的話？“ 然后，走到這人旁邊問一問：”我想你不是有意這么說，但當你叫我“甜心”，這讓我不舒服。“
4. Start with the facts. 從事實開始
When you feel constantly offended by someone's behavior, it's easy to feel victimized or become convinced the bully is out to get you -- but this could lead to a nasty confrontation. Before you confront the bully by talking about your feelings or making conclusions, stick to the facts: "Often in our team meetings, you demean my ideas. Today, you called my idea stupid." Then proceed to your conclusion, and ask your co-worker for feedback.
當你感到不斷被某人冒犯，很容易有受害者的感覺，或者認為這位欺負者故意讓你生氣。但這可能導致一個不愉快的對峙。在你進行對峙、談論感受和做出結論之前，從事實開始：” 在我們小組會議時，你總是貶低我的看法，比如今天，你說我的想法很愚蠢。“ 然后，說到你的結論，讓對方做出反饋。
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