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最新英語笑話幽默網(wǎng)文
Psychiatrist
Jerry went to a psychiatrist.
"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.
Every time I get into bed,
I think there's somebody under it.
I'm going crazy!"
Just put yourself in my hands for one year,"
said the shrink.
"Come to me three times a week,
and I'll cure your fears.
" How much do you charge?"
A hundred dollars per visit.
" I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.
Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street.
"Why didn't you ever come to see me again?"
asked the psychiatrist.
For a hundred bucks a visit?
The bartender cured me for $10."
"Is that so!
How?
" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
Ain't nobody under there now!!!
杰瑞去看精神病醫(yī)生。“醫(yī)生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時(shí)候，我都感覺有人在床下。我要瘋了!”
“給我一年時(shí)間，”醫(yī)生說，“每周來三次，我會(huì)治好你。”
“費(fèi)用是多少呢?”
“每次一百美元。”“我會(huì)認(rèn)真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。
六個(gè)月后醫(yī)生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“為什么你再也沒來呢?”醫(yī)生問。
“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個(gè)酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”
“真的?他怎么做到的?”
An Entrance Examination
入學(xué)考試
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music，the teacher asked one of the boys，"What is the most important physiological quality of a musician”
在一次音樂學(xué)院的入學(xué)考試中，老師問一位應(yīng)試的小伙子:“音樂家最重要的生理素質(zhì)是什么?”
"To be deaf，”replied the boy.
“耳聾。”小伙子回答說。
"Nonsense”said the teacher angrily
“胡說!”老師憤怒地說。
"Why, sirs Don't you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?”the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
“怎么了，先生!您難道連鼎鼎大名的音樂家貝多芬是個(gè)聾子都不知道嗎?”小伙子輕蔑地反問道。
Visiting A Chicken Farm
參觀養(yǎng)雞場
One day，a teacher took his pupils to a chicken farm to pay a visit. When they came near the incubator，a chick just got out of it’s eggshell.
老師帶學(xué)生到養(yǎng)雞場參觀，當(dāng)他們走近孵化器時(shí)，剛好一只小雞破殼而出。
"It's wonderful to see a little thing come out from the eggshell，isn't it's it?”the teacher said.
“看見一個(gè)小生命從蛋殼里出來，很奇妙，是不是?”老師說。
"Yes，sir，"said one of the boys，“But it would be more wonderful if we knew that how a chick gets into its eggshell beforehand.”
“是的，老師，”一個(gè)男學(xué)生說，“可是，如果我們知道它是怎樣事先鉆進(jìn)蛋殼里的那就更奇妙了。”
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