圣誕節(jié)笑話英文

圣誕節(jié)笑話英文

　　圣誕節(jié)笑話英文一：

　　This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent's witnesses.

　　One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.

　　“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel.“There is no need for you to argue the point!”

　　“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness.

　　“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.

　　“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：Have you ceased beating your wife?”

　　圣誕節(jié)笑話英文二：

　　The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."

　　圣誕節(jié)笑話英文三：

　　1.Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."

　　一家消聲器店外："根本不用預(yù)約，我們聽到你來了!"

　　2.Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

　　酒店門外："幫幫忙!我們?nèi)鄙俪Ｗ⌒【起^的人。"

　　3.On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

　　接待室的桌上："三個(gè)一輪!我們要毫不留情地趕走第三個(gè)推銷員!注：第二個(gè)剛剛離開。"

　　4.In a veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"

　　獸醫(yī)的候診內(nèi)："稍候5分鐘。趴下，別動(dòng)!"

　　5.At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be."

　　在電氣公司："如果你送來鈔票，我們會(huì)很高興;如果你不送，就會(huì)被斷電。"

　　6.On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."

　　電腦專賣店門上："出去找一個(gè)更快的字節(jié)。"

　　7.In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."

　　餐館櫥窗："別餓著肚子傻呆在那兒，進(jìn)來吧，吃頓飽飯!"

　　8.Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

　　在保齡球館："保持安靜，我們需要傾聽大頭針落地。"

　　9.In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

　　在墓地的前院："開車當(dāng)心，我們會(huì)等著你的。"

　　10.In a counselors office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.

　　在咨詢師辦公室："變老是由上帝控制的，變聰明是由自己控制的。

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