英語笑話帶翻譯（精選15則）
笑話是引人發笑的話或事情。笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節簡單而巧妙，但往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑點來了的奇妙感覺，大多揭示生活中乖謬的現象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性，其趣味有高下之分。以下是小編整理的英語笑話帶翻譯，歡迎閱讀。
英語笑話帶翻譯 1
1、Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."The little turtle replied, "I will, if you dont drink my offee.""We wont," the other two promised.Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isnt coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I wont go."
三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。它們剛到咖啡店的門口，就下起雨來。于是最大的那只烏龜對最小的烏龜說，“回家去取傘吧。”最小的'烏龜說，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應說。兩年后，大烏龜對中烏龜說，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”正在這時，一個聲音從門外傳來，“你們要是喝了，我就不去。”
2、A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place.Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution."Great idea!" the chicken cried."Lets offer hem ham and eggs?""Not so fast," said the pig testily. "For you, thats a contribution. For me, its a total commitment."
一只豬和一只雞路過一所教堂，那里有一場盛大慈善活動正在進行著。在精神上收到觸動的豬向小雞提出建議：他們每個人作出點自己的貢獻。“好主意!”雞尖叫道，“讓我們給腿和雞蛋吧?”“著什么急”豬不耐煩地說，“對你來說，是一個貢獻，對我來說，這是一個完全的獻身。”
3、A jackal who was going to be eaten by a lion. The jackal said to the lion: "No, please, you cant eat me! You cant eat me! This will be a great mistake. If you eat me, thatll be terrible, that will be a disaster, that will be the end of the world!"The lion was very puzzled and said: "How come? How come if I eat you, the world will end?"The jackal said:"Because if you eat me, that will be the end of the world for me!"
有只狼快被獅子吃掉了。狼對獅子說：“求求你不要吃我!你不能吃我，這是一個天大的錯誤!如果你吃了我，那就慘了，會有災難、會世界末日!”獅子滿臉疑惑地問：“為什么把你吃掉就會世界末日?”狼回答：“如果你吃了我，就是我的世界末日啊!”
英語笑話帶翻譯 2
1、The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
新西蘭的氣候
老師：馬修，新西蘭的氣候怎么樣?
馬修：先生，那里的天氣很冷。
老師：錯了。
馬修：可是，先生!從那兒運來的豬肉都凍得硬邦邦的。
2、My Sisters Fingers
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I dont see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they werent my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
我妹妹的手指頭
老師：凱溫，這次你怎么又遲到了?
凱溫：對不起，老師，我在家釘釘子，砸壞了兩個手指頭。
老師：怎么沒有扎繃帶呀?
凱溫：噢，砸的不是我的手指頭，我叫小妹妹扶著釘子的。
3、All Except the Music
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
除了音樂
一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學生多了解一點優秀的古典音樂，就安排了一天下午去聽音樂會。為了使這次活動能給大家留下更深的印象，她請大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來上汽車的時候，她問小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎?”
“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說，“除了音樂其它都很好。”
4、The plural Form of "Child"
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
"孩子"的復數形式
老師：湯姆，‘男人’這個詞的復數形式是什么?
湯姆：男人們。
老師：答得好。那‘孩子’的復數形式呢?
湯姆：雙胞胎。
5、When Do People Talk Least?
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
人們什么時候說話最少?
學生甲：人們在什么時候說話最少?
學生乙：在二月。
學生甲：為什么呢?
學生乙：因為二月是一年中最短的一個月。
6、The Reason of Being Late
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, School -- Go Slow.
遲到的原因
老 師：約翰尼，為什么你每天早晨都遲到?
約翰尼：每當我經過學校附近的拐角處，就見路牌上寫著‘學校-緩行’。
7、Q: Whats the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
冰山和衣刷之間有什么區別？
A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
一個 撞 船 一個 刷 大衣！(單詞的拼寫造成的JOKE）
8、He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: Thats too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他贏了
湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？
約翰尼：他害病臥床了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？
約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
9、I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"Id know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發生了什么事？”
“一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認出來嗎？”媽媽問。
“他走到哪里我都能認出他，”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”
10、A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"Youre a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
1好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的'錢干什么了？”
“我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？”
“她是個賣糖果的。”
11、Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "Whats the meaning of the word Drunk, dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " theres only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”
12、Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guests plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。
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