英語幽默小笑話（雙語）
一、Who Was the First Man 誰是世界上第一個男人.
A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”
一個老師問她的學生：“誰是世界上第一個男人”
“George Washington,” a little boy shouted promptly.
一個小男孩立刻大聲說：“喬治.華盛頓。”
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.
老師帶著寵溺的笑容問這個男生：“你如何證明喬治華盛頓是世界上第一個男人呢。”
“Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”
這個男孩子說：“因為，他是第一個挑起戰爭，第一個主張和平，并且是第一個深得民心的人。”
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. “Well,” said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”
這時，有一個年齡稍大的男孩子舉起手來，老師問他，“你認為誰是世界第一個男人?”
“I don’t know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn’t George Washington, ma’am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.”
男孩回答說：“我不知道他的名字，但是我肯定他不是喬治華盛頓，因為歷史書上說，喬治華盛頓和一個寡婦結婚了，所以在他之前，當然還有一個男的啦。”
二、Drunk 醉酒
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。”
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
“可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀!”
三、Goldfish 金魚
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
弗雷德：你想在哪兒養它們?
Stan: In the bathroom.
斯丹：浴室。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎么辦?
Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛) them!
斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛!
英語單詞講解：
blindfold vt. (作名詞時意思是眼罩)
1. (用布或帶)蒙住…的眼睛;蒙住(眼睛)：
The victim was blindfolded.
受害者被蒙住了眼睛。
to blindfold the hostage
蒙住人質的眼睛
2. 妨礙視力;遮住(或擋住)…的.視線：
The tall man in the front blindfolded me.
前面的高個子男人擋住了我的視線。
3. 使不理解，使失去識別能力(或判斷力、覺察力);使模糊不清;使遲鈍;使迷惑;蒙騙：
to blindfold you to the true purpose of her invitation
被蒙蔽而看不出她邀你的真正目的。
四、Be careful with what you wish for 慎重許愿
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
一對結婚25周年的夫妻在慶祝他們六十歲的生日。他們恰好在同一天出生。
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
慶祝活動中，一位仙女出現了。她說，由于他們是已經結婚25年的恩愛夫妻，因此她給許給這對夫妻每個人一個愿望。
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一聲，她的手中出現了一張票。
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.
接下來該丈夫許愿了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說，“那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人。”
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
仙女拾起了魔術棒。“呯!”，他變成了90歲。
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