英語(yǔ)笑話3則
我干得怎么樣 How did I do
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.
The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner, people." A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner...NOW!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.
Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," chuckled the veteran policemen, "especially since this is a bus stop!"
一名新警察與老警察開(kāi)著警車第一次出去巡邏。 他們得到命令去疏散一群閑逛的人，于是他們開(kāi)車去了那條街，看到路口站著一群人。
新警察搖下窗戶：“大家注意了，快離開(kāi)這里。”人們看了他幾眼，沒(méi)理他。他喊起來(lái)：“離開(kāi)這里，馬上離開(kāi)!”大家都不知道怎么回事，但是在他的威脅下還是離開(kāi)了。
新警察對(duì)他第一次執(zhí)行公務(wù)的結(jié)果很滿意，對(duì)老警察說(shuō)：“我干得怎么樣?”“你做得很好，”老警察笑著說(shuō)，“尤其是在公共汽車站。”
因禍得福 To Profit from a Misfortune
A man was a butterfingers. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.
At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.
The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."
有一個(gè)人很粗心，老是打爛東西。他已失業(yè)好幾個(gè)月了。
最后他在一個(gè)瓷器店找到了一個(gè)工作。可是才干了幾天，他就打爛了一個(gè)很大的'花瓶。
經(jīng)理把他到辦公室去，告訴他每個(gè)星期都要扣他的工錢(qián)，直到賠償夠了為止。他就問(wèn)：“那個(gè)花瓶值多少錢(qián)?”經(jīng)理說(shuō)：“值500美元。”他很高興地說(shuō)：“啊!太妙了，我非常高興，終于有個(gè)穩(wěn)定的工作啦。”
太晚了 It's Too Late
A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."
A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."
一個(gè)醫(yī)科學(xué)生被要求說(shuō)明他給病人服的那種藥的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”
一分鐘后，這個(gè)學(xué)生問(wèn)教授：“我可以改正我的回答嗎?”教授看看手表，說(shuō)：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒鐘以前死了。”
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