精選3則短篇英語笑話
Goldfish 金魚
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
弗雷德：你想在哪兒養它們?
Stan: In the bathroom.
斯丹：浴室。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎么辦?
Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛) them!
斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛!
I am acting like a lady 我要表現得像一位女士
One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.
一天，一家百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給他的太太挑選一件女裝。但是，沒過多久，他就發現自己已被瘋狂的女人們撞得踉踉蹌蹌。
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.
他竭力地忍耐著。后來，他低下頭，揮舞雙臂，擠過人群。
"You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"
“你干嘛?”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現得像一位紳士嗎?”
"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
“聽著，”他說。“我已經像紳士一樣表現了一個小時了。從現在起，我要表現得像一位女士。”
Good Sight 好視力
Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?
Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.
律師：你說你離事故現場約有35英尺，你能看清多遠的東西?
證人：這么說吧，早上起床后我看見太陽，別人告訴我這大約有9300萬英里遠。
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