幽默短篇英語(yǔ)笑話集錦
All Except the Music除了音樂
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學(xué)生多了解一點(diǎn)優(yōu)秀的古典音樂，就安排了一天下午去聽音樂會(huì)。為了使這次活動(dòng)能給大家留下更深的印象，她請(qǐng)大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點(diǎn)心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來上汽車的時(shí)候，她問小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎?”
“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說，“除了音樂其它都很好。”
I don't think I know-我不知道啊
Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
John: "What do you think it is, sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"‘
老師：“John，動(dòng)詞ring的過去分詞是什么?”。約翰：“你想它是什么呢”?老師：“我不用想，我知道!”。約翰：“我想我不知道”。
遲到的原因The Reason of Being Late
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.
老 師：約翰尼，為什么你每天早晨都遲到?
約翰尼：每當(dāng)我經(jīng)過學(xué)校附近的拐角處，就見路牌上寫著‘學(xué)校-緩行’。
玩藏貓貓
A bunch of great, DEAD scientists were playing hide-and-seek in heaven. When it's Einstein's turn to be the seeker, he counted untill 100 and opened his eyes. All the others were hide, but only Newton were still standing there.
一群偉大的.科學(xué)家去世后在天堂里玩藏貓貓。輪到愛因斯坦抓人，他數(shù)到100睜開眼睛，看到所有的人都藏起來了，只有牛頓還站在那里。
I don't think I know
Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
John: "What do you think it is, sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"
老師：“John，動(dòng)詞ring的過去分詞是什么?”。
約翰：“你想它是什么呢”?
老師：“我不用想，我知道!”。
約翰：“我想我不知道”。
Good news or Bad news?
An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.
"I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied.
"Give me the good news first," the artist demanded.
"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What could the bad news possibly be?"
With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The gentleman in question was your doctor."以為藝術(shù)家在一個(gè)畫廊辦了個(gè)展覽，他問店主是否有人對(duì)他參展的畫感興趣。
“我有一個(gè)好消息和一個(gè)壞消息。”店主回答。
“先告訴我好消息。”畫家要求道。
“好消息是一位紳士詢問了你的作品，還問它是否會(huì)在你死后增。我告訴他會(huì)的，然后他買下了你所有的15幅畫作。”
“那太棒了!”畫家驚嘆。“那么什么會(huì)是壞消息呢?”
店主想了想之后說：“問那個(gè)問題的是你的醫(yī)生”。
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