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10個(gè)英文小笑話
用過英文跟人家講笑話嗎?如果每用過的話，下面YJBYS小編就給您獻(xiàn)上幾段英文小笑話，讓你可以在朋友間用英文發(fā)揮出你的幽默。
1. A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage. "Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!" "Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back. "You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest." 一位列車員正要發(fā)出信號(hào)讓火車啟動(dòng)，這時(shí)他看見一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺(tái)上一節(jié)打開的車廂門旁邊，跟車廂里另一位漂亮姑娘在說話。 “快點(diǎn)，小姐!”他喊道：“請(qǐng)把門關(guān)上。” “噢，我還沒有和妹妹吻別呢。”她回答道。 “請(qǐng)把門關(guān)上好了，”列車員說：“其余的事由我負(fù)責(zé)。”
2. 周一早上....正在沖泡著濃郁的咖啡，一個(gè)有趣的對(duì)話發(fā)生了... "Daddy?How did I come into this world?" 「爹地，我是怎么來到這世界的?」 "Well,my child,someday I"ll have to tell you anyway." 「哦，兒子啊，總有一天我會(huì)讓你知道的。」 "So why not today?Please!" 「拜托!為什么今天不行?」 "OK,but listen carefully." 「好吧，你仔細(xì)聽著!」 "Mom and Dad met each other in a cybercafe. 「你媽和我在網(wǎng)吧相遇而認(rèn)識(shí)， In the restroom sof that cybercafe,dad connected to mom. 并在網(wǎng)吧的洗手間你媽和我使用了超級(jí)鏈接， Mom at that time made some downloads from dad"s memorystick. 那時(shí)你媽從我的隨身插硬盤下載一些數(shù)據(jù)， When dad finished up loading wed is covered we used no firewall. 當(dāng)我完成上傳時(shí)，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)我們沒有使用防火墻， Since it was too late to cancel or delete, 因此，想要取消或刪除都已為時(shí)太晚， nine months later we ended up with a virus." 就這樣，九個(gè)月以后我們最終生出一個(gè)病毒。」
3. Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him? 湯姆：威廉向我借五英鎊。我該不該借給他? Jack: Certainly. 杰克：當(dāng)然應(yīng)該了。
Tom: And why? 湯姆：為什么? Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me. 杰克：否則他就該跟我借了。
4. An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff?' 'Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.' The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.' 'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.' 'It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five.' 一位耳聾并且總是嫌?xùn)|西太貴的老太太走進(jìn)一家商店。 她問店員：“這東西要多少錢?” “七美元，太太，這是很便宜的。” 老太太說：“太貴了，十四美元差不多。” 店員忙說：“我沒說十七美元，是七美元。” “還是太貴，”老太太說：“五美元，我就買啦。”
5. Mr. Johnson: Are you using you mower this afternoon? Mr.Smith: Yes. Mr.Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it? 約翰遜先生：今天下午你準(zhǔn)備用割草機(jī)嗎? 史密斯先生：是的。 約翰遜先生：太好了。既然您不用網(wǎng)球拍，那我可以借用一下嗎?
6. They Are Directly from America Not long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was real.It mady out of patience.At last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. They.are directly from America. ” 一位中國老婦人到美國去看望女兒回來不久，到一家銀行取存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺(tái)，銀行職員認(rèn)真仔細(xì)的檢查了每一張鈔票看，是否有假。這種做法使老婦人很不耐煩，最后實(shí)在忍不住說：“相信我，先生，也請(qǐng)你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，是從美國直接帶來的。”
7. He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎? 約翰尼：他害病臥床了。他受了傷。 湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒? 約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠(yuǎn)，他贏了。
8. Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發(fā)生了什么事?” “一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。 “再見到他你能認(rèn)出來嗎?”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”
9. A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。 “昨天給你的錢干什么了?” “我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對(duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢?” “她是個(gè)賣糖果的。”
10. Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個(gè)孩子正處于那種對(duì)什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸，„醉‟字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個(gè)警察。如果我把他們看成了四個(gè)，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個(gè)警察呀!”
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