簡短英語笑話

時間：2020-11-13 13:49:46 英語笑話我要投稿

簡短英語笑話集錦

　　爆笑英語笑話篇幅很小，故事情節簡單而巧妙，取得笑的藝術效果。下面應屆畢業生小編為您整理的英語笑話。

簡短英語笑話集錦

　　他死了

　　If you refuse to marry me, he swore, I shall die. She refused him. Sixty years later, he died. 如果你不答應嫁給我，他發誓，我就要去死。六十年后，他死了。

　　幫我爸爸做我的家庭作業

　　Jimmy: Hey, Amy, aren't you coming out to play? Amy: No, I have to stay in and help my father with my homework. 基米：嘿，艾米，你不出來玩嗎?艾米：不了，我必須留在家里，幫我爸爸做我的家庭作業。

　　我不敢想象

　　Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from." 客人：“為什么你的狗狗坐在那兒老是看著我吃東西呢?”旅館主人：“我不敢想象，除非是因為你拿了它經常用來吃東西的盤子了。”

　　我不能說是哪一年

　　Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year. Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes, but I can't say in which.手相大師：你手上的生命線顯示出你還有一年將會死去。顧客：天哪，一年后?手相大師：是的，可是我不能說是哪一年。

　　給我那個打贏的

　　Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then.服務員，這個龍蝦只有一只爪。對不起，先生，這只肯定打過架了。哦，那給我那個打贏的吧。

　　在電話本上

　　Boy: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" girl: "It's in the phone book." Boy: "But I don't know your name." girl: "That's in the phone book too." 男：我想給你打電話。你的電話號碼是多少?女：在電話本上呢。男：可是我不知道你的名字呀。女：也在電話本上呢。

　　粗心的教授

　　The absent-minded professor shouted: "Kate, come to the blackboard!" Another student says, "Kate is absent, Professor." "Silent! Let Kate speak for herself."粗心的`教授大聲地喊道：“凱特，到黑板前面來!”另外一個學生說：“教授，凱特沒來。”“別出聲，讓凱特自己講。”

　　我可以存多少錢

　　Husband: Before I married you, I never thought of saving money.Wife: And now?Husband: Now I'm thinking About how much I could have saved if I hadn't married you.丈夫：在娶你進門之前，我從來沒有想過要存錢。妻子:那現在呢?丈夫：現在我在想，要是沒有娶你的話，我可以存多少錢。

　　你踩到我腳了

　　Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet. Patient: I know. But you are standing on my foot! 牙醫：請不要再叫了，我都還沒有挨著你的牙齒啊! 病人：但是，親，你可知道，你踩到我腳了!!!

　　慢行

　　Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".老師:為什么你每天早晨都遲到? 湯姆:每當我經過學校的拐角處,就看見一個牌子上寫著學校----慢行。

　　A maintenance man in a cemetery

　　He is really somebody My uncle has 1000 men under him. He is really somebody. What does he do? A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　　他真是一個大人物，我叔叔下面有1000個人。他真是一個大人物。干什么的?墓地守墓人。

　　Five Hundred Times

　　In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."

　　在中西部一個大城市的交通法庭里，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由于開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。女士向法官解釋，她是一名學校老師，請求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠，說道：“你是學校的老師，對嗎?女士，我馬上要實現我畢生的愿望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫‘我開車闖了紅燈’500遍。”

【簡短英語笑話集錦】相關文章：