爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話集錦
英語(yǔ)笑話可以陶冶情操， 減少人生中的各種煩惱 ，提高自己對(duì)英語(yǔ)的閱讀興趣 ，學(xué)習(xí)生活也會(huì)更加順利，下面由YJBYS小編為您帶來(lái)的`爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話。
Who Should be Given the Present
A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present, “Who is the most obedient, never talks back to mother and does everything he or she is told?” he inquired. There was silence and then a chorus of voices: “You play with it, Daddy!”
一個(gè)有五個(gè)孩子的父親帶著一件玩具回到家里，把孩子們召集來(lái)問(wèn)這件禮物應(yīng)該給誰(shuí)。“誰(shuí)最聽(tīng)話，從不和媽媽頂嘴，讓干什么就干什么?”他問(wèn)道。大家都不吭聲。過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，孩子們異口同聲地說(shuō)：“爸爸，您玩兒吧。”
年長(zhǎng)者階層
During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "Can you imagine, " she said. "Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!醫(yī)生按期來(lái)探視我的老母。我告訴他母親不幾天就要慶祝她98歲的生日了。醫(yī)生聽(tīng)了也很高興，為此，他彎下腰來(lái)親了她一下。然后他說(shuō)不幾天他也要慶祝自己的生日，并要求她還他一個(gè)吻。醫(yī)生走后，我母親厭惡地?fù)u搖頭。“你能想象嗎，”她說(shuō)，“付了他70元，我還得親他!”
沒(méi)把頭發(fā)全剪掉啊
Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him."Hello, Miles," the manager said. "I see that you are having your hair cut in office time.""Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly. "You see, sir, it grows in office time.""Not all of it," said the manager at once. "Some of it grows in your own time.""Yes, sir, that's quite true." Answered Miles politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off."麥爾斯有時(shí)在上班時(shí)間去理發(fā)館理發(fā)，但這是違反辦公室規(guī)定的：職員只能利用自己的時(shí)間理發(fā)。一天，正當(dāng)麥爾斯理發(fā)時(shí)，經(jīng)理碰巧也進(jìn)來(lái)理發(fā)，而且就坐在他旁邊。“你好，麥爾斯，”經(jīng)理說(shuō)。“我看到你在上班時(shí)間理發(fā)了。”“是的，先生。正是這樣。”麥爾斯平靜地承認(rèn)了。可先生，你看，頭發(fā)是在上班時(shí)間長(zhǎng)的。“不全都是吧，”經(jīng)理立刻說(shuō)，“有一些是在你自己的時(shí)間里長(zhǎng)的。”“對(duì)呀，先生，你說(shuō)得很對(duì)。”麥爾斯禮貌地回答說(shuō)，“但我并沒(méi)有把頭發(fā)全都剪掉啊。”
誰(shuí)是世界上第一個(gè)男人
A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”“George Washington,”a little boy shouted promptly.
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.“Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.“Well,”said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”
“I don’t know what his name was,”said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn’t George Washington, ma’am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.”
一個(gè)老師問(wèn)她的學(xué)生：“誰(shuí)是世界上第一個(gè)男人”一個(gè)小男孩立刻大聲說(shuō)：“喬治.華盛頓。”老師帶著寵溺的笑容問(wèn)這個(gè)男生：“你如何證明喬治華盛頓是世界上第一個(gè)男人呢。”這個(gè)男孩子說(shuō)：“因?yàn)椋堑谝粋�(gè)挑起戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)，第一個(gè)主張和平，并且是第一個(gè)深得民心的人。”這時(shí)，有一個(gè)年齡稍大的男孩子舉起手來(lái)，老師問(wèn)他，“你認(rèn)為誰(shuí)是世界第一個(gè)男人?”男孩回答說(shuō)：“我不知道他的名字，但是我肯定他不是喬治華盛頓，因?yàn)闅v史書(shū)上說(shuō)，喬治華盛頓和一個(gè)寡婦結(jié)婚了，所以在他之前，當(dāng)然還有一個(gè)男的啦。”
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