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簡短幽默英語笑話
英語笑話“Can you speak English”大家快點來看哦。
一場特殊的足球比賽
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."
"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.
"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.
麥克上學遲到了。他對布萊克老師說：“對不起，老師，今天早上我遲到了。因為我在夢里觀看了一場球賽。”
“為什么它會讓你遲到呢?”老師問道。
“因為這兩個隊都沒有能力獲勝，所以就持續的時間長了。”麥克回答說。
Reason of Punishment 懲罰的原因
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.
The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
一天，小女孩從學校回到家里，對媽媽說：媽媽，今天在學校里我因為一件我沒有做的事情而受到懲罰。
媽媽激動地說：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老師好好談一談，對了，你沒有做過的那件事是什么?
小女孩回答說：我的家庭作業。
Boy, Oh Boy 讓人無奈的孩子
When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "
我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時候，總要招來大亂。一個星期六，我開始抗議了。“好啦，你們兩個，”我嚴厲地說，“不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許扯淡，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。” 我剛轉身要走，就聽我兒子說：“來，斯蒂文，我們來把自己弄臟吧。”
Does He Bite 它咬人嗎
Reggie: We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?
Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?
Reggie: That's what I want to find out.
里基：我們又得到了一條新狗，你愿意過來和他玩一會嗎?
羅恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人嗎?
里基：這正是我想要查明的。
To Buy a Video 買錄像機
Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.
But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.
Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!
艾莫斯問媽媽他們是否能買一臺錄像機。
恐怕我們還買不起，媽媽嘆息著說。
可第二天當艾莫斯回來時，他搖搖晃晃地搬著一臺全新的錄像機。
你究竟是哪兒來的錢買這東西?媽媽大吃一驚，喘著氣說。
媽媽，這簡單， 艾曼斯回答。我把電視機給賣了!
Can you speak English
去年春節回老家時，看到一個老外在向一個農民伯伯問路。只見那個老外一邊說著生硬的中文，一邊用手筆劃，但那個農民伯伯卻還是不明白。最后，那個農民伯伯說了一句讓我至今難忘的話：“Can you speak English?”
how much
剛剛去營業廳沖話費，聽到服務小姐說，how much?我愣了好久，沒反應過來，心想英語都普及到這地步了?遂回答，50。他也愣了，又重復了一次，我這才聽明白她剛才說的是，號碼是?
外國同事
我們外國同事突然問我：你們中國人最愛用的外語口頭禪是不是“what‘s up‘?感覺你們見面時常說“what‘s up‘，有時候自己對著電腦都會自言自語說，是受美國文化影響么?我想了半天是不是有這么回事，然后突然恍然大悟，對她說：我操!
香蕉用英語怎么說?
“閨女，香蕉用英語怎么說?”“banana!”“蘋果呢?”“iPhone!”“那大蘋果呢?”“iPad!”
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