長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯
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長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯一：My Husband Will Be Home Soon
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.
"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a *y little voice...
"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
我丈夫馬上就要回來(lái)了
一個(gè)已婚男人去拜訪他的“女朋友”時(shí)，女朋友要求他剃去胡須。
“噢，詹姆斯，我喜歡你的胡子，但我更喜歡看到你英俊的面孔。”
詹姆斯回答說(shuō)，“我的妻子喜歡我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否則她會(huì)殺了我的。”
“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一種低沉的、性感的聲音又一次說(shuō)道。
“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜歡這胡子。”
在女朋友再三請(qǐng)求下，他終于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡時(shí)，詹姆斯爬上了床。
妻子朦朦朧朧地摸了摸他的臉說(shuō)道，“噢，邁克爾，你不應(yīng)該在這里，我的丈夫很快就要回來(lái)了。”
長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯二：
"Guns Buried in the Garden An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden. He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!" At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
一個(gè)老人獨(dú)居在北愛(ài)爾蘭，他的獨(dú)生子正在坐牢。老人想在花園里種些土豆，但不知道誰(shuí)可以幫忙把泥土翻松。他寫信想兒子提及此事，兒子回信說(shuō)道：“看在上帝的面上，千萬(wàn)不要翻松花園的泥土，我把槍埋在那兒了。”第二天凌晨4點(diǎn)，一隊(duì)英國(guó)士兵出現(xiàn)在老人家中，在花園把土地翻遍，但并沒(méi)有找到任何槍支。” 老人寫信告訴兒子這件奇怪的事情，問(wèn)到底發(fā)"生了什么事情，下一步應(yīng)該怎么做。兒子回信道：“你只管種土豆好了。”
長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的.英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯三：
"Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Bill and he went into the store. "How much are the apples?" he asked the store."Six for five cents." "But I don't want six apples." "How many apples do you want?" "It is not a question of how many apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic." "What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic?" asked the man."Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worth four cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples are worth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay"you."Billpickedoutagoo"d apple,"begantoeat"it,"and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word.
比爾是一個(gè)好學(xué)生，也是個(gè)聰明的孩子。他喜歡學(xué)數(shù)學(xué)，課本上所有的數(shù)學(xué)問(wèn)題他都能不費(fèi)勁地解答。有一天，在上學(xué)路上，比爾經(jīng)過(guò)一家水果店。該店窗戶上有個(gè)招牌上寫著：“蘋果--五美分六個(gè)。”比爾腦筋一轉(zhuǎn)，進(jìn)了店門。 “蘋果怎么賣?” “五美分六個(gè)。” “但我不想要六個(gè)。” “你想要幾個(gè)?” “這不是我想要幾個(gè)的問(wèn)題。這是個(gè)數(shù)學(xué)問(wèn)題。” “數(shù)學(xué)問(wèn)題?你說(shuō)這話是什么意思?”“你看，如果六個(gè)蘋果五美分，那么五個(gè)蘋果四美分，四個(gè)蘋果三美分，三個(gè)蘋果二美分，二個(gè)蘋果一美分，一個(gè)蘋果就不要錢。我只要一個(gè)蘋果，如果一個(gè)蘋果一分錢也不要的話，那我也就沒(méi)必要給你錢了。”比爾揀了一個(gè)好蘋果，開始吃了起來(lái)，然后興高采烈地邁出了店門。那個(gè)售貨員吃驚地望著這個(gè)小男孩，一句話也說(shuō)不出來(lái)。
長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯四：
The Indian Who Could Foretell the Weather Two men were travelling in a very wild and lonely part of America. For days they had not even seen a house， only a few huts made of wood， or tents made of skins. Then one day they met an old Indian who earned his living by trapping animals for heir fur. They found that he knew their language and they had a little conversation with him. One of them asked him if he could tell them what the weather would be like within the next few days. “Oh yes，”he said.“Rain is coming， and wind.Then there will be snow for two days， but after that there will be bright sunshine.” “Is n't that wonderful?” said one man to his friend.“These old Indians know more of the secrets of Nature than we do with all our science. They have not been spoiled by civilization.” Then he turned to the old Indian. “Tell me，”he said，“how you knew all that.” The Indian replied，“I heard it on the radio.”
有兩個(gè)人在美洲一個(gè)非常荒涼偏僻的地區(qū)旅行。好多天來(lái)，他們連所房子也沒(méi)看 到，只看見(jiàn)幾個(gè)木棚子和皮帳篷。一天，他們遇到一個(gè)靠獵取獸皮謀生的印第安老人。他們發(fā)現(xiàn)他懂得他們的語(yǔ)言，就和他聊了一會(huì)兒。其中一個(gè)人問(wèn)他，能否告知近幾天的天氣如何。 “哦，行啊”，他說(shuō)。“就要下雨了，還要刮風(fēng)。接著還得下兩天雪。這以后，就是大晴天了。” “這不是太神奇了嗎?”一個(gè)旅行者對(duì)他的朋友說(shuō)。“這些印第安老人深知大自然的秘密，比我們有科學(xué)知識(shí)的人知道的還多。他們并沒(méi)有被現(xiàn)代文明所迷惑。”接著他轉(zhuǎn)向印第安老人： “請(qǐng)問(wèn)，”他說(shuō)，“你是怎么知道這一切的呢?” 印第安老人答道：“我是從無(wú)線電里聽來(lái)的。”
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